Reader's digest version: I grew up in a house with a single mom trying to raise 2 kids on a Florida teacher's salary. Let's just say, there was not tons of extra food in our house. We didn't starve, but my mom worked a lot of extra jobs and we were on our own a lot with microwave pizza, hotdogs and Steakums (remember those?).
By contrast, my father was not struggling. There was a huge variety of food in the house and it was all good. (We never ate frozen pizza with him.) I was there at two keys times of the year...the summer...which means lots of fresh produce and BBQs and camping trips with smores....and Christmas...which goes without saying is an awesome time for great food.
Somewhere in my upbrining, I started to associate good food as something temporary. I was going to get it for 6 weeks over the summer and 2 weeks at Christmas and then it would go away. As a result, I got it in my head that I needed to have all I could stuff into myself...because it would go away. And it was not just "bad" foods. Fresh produce. A good steak on the grill. It was all just something I did not get at home...so I'd better eat it all.
Year's later...a full grown adult with a good job and plenty of money in my bank account...this remains an issue. There is an open bag of oreos....I'd better eat them....or they will go away. Never mind that if I wanted to I could afford to go to the store every single day and buy another bag of oreos....I just have this desperate need to eat. It's worse when it is something actually temporary....at a restaurant...a cruise buffet...something served at the office.
So here tonight, I have done very, very well on my calories for the day and for dinner I made something really healthy...and very tasty!!! And now I want more. I'm not hungry. And I have a baked good in the oven that is also in my calorie count for the day...but still I want more of the dinner I made.
I have to learn. It will be there tomorrow (for lunch!)...it will be there the next day. And when it does run out....I can make a new batch. I don't need it now.
I was very, very tired today. I did not sleep well last night. It was difficult to get myself to go to the gym. I was supposed to do a weight workout today....but I knew it would be lousy. So I did 30 minutes on the elliptical and it was actually a really good workout. I pushed myself pretty well. Combine with 4 miles of walking to and from work and 45 minutes of walking the dog...I am pretty happy with the day.
Weight: 148
Exercise: 30 minutes of intervals on the elliptical (including arms), 4 miles of walking fast, 45 minutes of walking the dog.
Calories: 1430
1 comment:
Way to talk yourself through it, AJ!
Wow, I have similar issues, too, but it was just generally not having a lot of money to go out to eat or have a variety of things when I lived at home. Starting in college, I would treat myself to takeout food and restaurant meals and it would make me feel like I had money, even though they totally racked up on my newly-acquired credit cards and, obviously, I couldn't really afford them.
Now I, too, know that food is there for the eating and/or buying whenever I want it, and rationally, I shouldn't need to gorge on it, ever. Thanks for reminding me of this!
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